Attention Men who need attention. Restless but no plans? Next time you feel the urge to break the pattern and monotony forget happy hour or doing the same old damn thing. Head downtown close to Chinatown for a haircut like no other, a slice of cheese with garlic, and some great local music. Let’s not forget to top it off with a visit to the sassiest club in town. Yeah-that’s a guy’s night on the town!!!
Start your trek by heading to one of the most interesting sections of Portland: lower southwest dowtown. When you arrive at Hair M, you might immediately notice something odd-no women customers. Hmm it’s a men’s salon, all dudes. It looks gothic and industrial and there are flat screens everywhere. This should be interesting. The door opens and the wafting aroma of beer and peppermint just might send a shiver up your spine. It hit’s brain at the same time the girl at the front podium says “Hi, are you so and so? You are here for an appointment right? Would you like a beer, we have a few on tap”. Yo! Ahhh, where am I? Well yes, please, you say as you get everything off to a splendid start.
Sit back, take a moment to relax and sip your brew. Cool, not expecting much more than a cut and a bit of small talk. Gina was my stylist/masseuse. Come with me she said leading me to the grooming area with giant spade shaped mirrors, past stalls with men getting scalp massages and shaves from really nice girls who have a great attitude and the perfect amount of personality. It seems they actually enjoy their jobs; maybe men are easier than women? In so many ways I bet it’s true when it comes to hair and stuff.
When your stylist asks, “what do you want done today?” You may think what are my options? There are a few different packages or can you just get a cut. Some packages include steam towels and scalp massage and others include hand treatments and foot tune ups. If you want to totally relax I recommend the royal treatment. This begins with the Kings Cut and includes shampoo, conditioning, cut, style, steam towels and scalp massage, with desert being a stress reliving neck rub. Yeah! That! You want that exactly.
So off you will be whisked. She starts washing your hair and says would you like to watch baseball or something? You see they have 21-inch wide screens at each stall playing sports and music. Rock on! Got the shampoo, razor cut and great styling job. So then… your stylist will wrap hot towels around your face and wow that feels good, what a rush. Then the scalp and neck rub and of course one more IPA. You will be levitated and exhilarated, I know I was. Oh she also puts some magic cream on your face that made it feel like a baby’s ass. You will truly be reborn during the one-and-a-half hours. Promise…
Very cool experience at Hair M, one every man deserves. They offer touch ups for free if you are a regular. I give it an 85% chance you will be a regular after this special day.
This has been so nice, you may just be walking on a cloud of air until you are reminded you are in one of Portland’s most questionalbe areas by a multitude of characters and scenery that we don’t have time to discuss.
If the sun is shining, walk towards Burnside Street and look right. You’ll see the water of the great Willamette River that runs thru Stumptown. On any day you can sit and watch the river and its seven bridges with thousands of cars crossing from west to east and vice versa.
Walk along the bike path. The sun is shining and bike path is empty and waiting for you to stroll, just a few hardcore cyclists and a few messengers buzzing by. Check out the boats going by as the Hawthorne Bridge is rising up and you can see so much beauty. Soak up the sun while you can and breathe the fresh breeze that is invigorating. This is something you will want to do more often. Guaranteed!
After observing the beauty and feeling the magnitude of Portland’s bridges you will start to come down from your makeover. To keep up the momentum choose to make it a real night out it. Head back to Burnside to Dante’s, a Punk club where you can grab a slice and soak up some local culture. This place is a cultural icon in the downtown area. It’s great for people watching and just plain hanging for an hour or two. From the patio you can see a twinkly sign that says “Welcome to Oregon”. Here you can sit and ponder the possibilities this evening.
Sassy’s Dance Club is up the road and just across the bridge. Hmmm, chicken wings, poker machines and full nudity. This is sounding like a fantastic finish to what will be a unique experience if you just take the step.
You have so many options in Portland proper, it’s got great music, nightlife, people, culture and even a pretty cool strip club. What more do you want? You seem to be expecting a lot now. Check it out and give yourself the boost you deserve. Treat yourself, get happy and get Hair M.
What & Where:
Hair M (818 SW 1st Ave; 503-517-0570)
Dante’s (1 SW 3rd Ave & Burnside; 503-226-6630)
Sassy’s Dance Club (927 SE Morrison St; 503-231-1606)
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